How did I get here?

Sometimes I wish God was more like a genie. It's not that I need three wishes...I just need one.

My wish would be simple.
I wish things were different.

I don't know exactly what I wish was different...I just wish things were easier, more clear and obvious to me. God sure is bringing lots of challenges my way these days. I find myself, daily, asking myself, 'how did I get here?'

I am in a place I never even dreamt I would be. I just left a job that was a completely perfect fit for me. I was so good at it, and had really made it my own. I've never loved a job as much, and have never felt more loved, appreciated, and needed in a job. I just let the most beautiful, perfect-for-me house go, in a step of completely unsure and questionable faith that God would work a mighty miracle in my life...which has left me to begin quickly searching for a new place to live. I am making a desperate attempt to reconcile my deepest issues and greatest hesitancies with the help of a professional therapist. What the heck. I have a therapist. HOW DID I GET HERE?

The recurring theme of my life right now is that dreadful question. How on EARTH did I get here? It is often followed by a wide range of emotions...guilt, shame, anticipation, reassurance, excitement...

I am really trying to trust that I am here because God brought here. Right where He wanted me. He is testing me. He is making sure my head is on straight, and that I've got my priorities in check.

Lord, I trust you. I'm confused and scared to death, but I trust you. You will provide. You will give clarity at just the right time. You will hold my hand and walk me through this foreign land.